I pray to be able to forgive those that treat me badly, still the actual feeling of it eludes me. What am I doing wrong?

You are so amusing. I see you choosing the 'higher' road and praying to forgive those that hurt you. (Very commendable by the way.) And I've watched you repeat your words of forgiveness in your journal and out loud to yourself. I've seen you begging me to free you from hatred or bitterness so you can truly offer love to your brothers and sisters, but... do you ever pray for them? Do you ask me to pour out blessing upon them?

Oh.

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you." Matthew 5:43-44

...Did you think it was just a suggestion?

Let me tell you a story, He said

She was a caged animal, desperate for escape. It was only a matter of time before she exploded. Did he really hold the key to the cage she was in or could she let herself out? She wondered. How did it get like this? What happened to the kind man she once knew? What happened to their love that seemed to sustain them and bring so much joy? The love that had produced their beautiful daughter? The love she knew would conquer the world?... Sucked into a nameless void she supposed. That was yesterday, a whole other reality, one she dearly missed and desperately wanted to get back to.

But she was here, today. In this reality. More like Hell. His unkindness felt like a dagger plunged straight into her heart that left her dark soul longing for some light, a light she had begun to doubt. Yet, deep down, she knew if she ever expected to see that light again, if she wanted love, if she really, really wanted freedom, she had to accept today. And she just couldn't do it. How? How could she? The man before her was someone she no longer recognized. He no longer held a special place in her heart. He was a stranger and worse yet, a monster. How had she not seen it before? How had he managed to keep it hidden for so long? She mourned the sweetness of yesterday and cursed the bitterness of today. What beauty was there to hold onto? If today was all there is, how could she find anything in it to inspire hope? Laying in her cage, full of despair, she began to fall asleep and she heard a voice...

Ah but acceptance is not about holding onto anything is it? It doesn't mean that you like the situation you find yourself to be in does it? Acceptance means not holding onto yesterday, not longing for it, or trying to resurrect it, not fighting what is. One doesn't walk along a path that becomes rocky and then curse it's rockiness or try to turn back. No. And neither should you. Stand your ground. The path has many ups and downs, twists and turns, but you lose your power to move forward by longing for smoother ground. The path stretches out before you for infinite miles and the power to move forward begins with acceptance. Accept your choices, accept your shortcomings, accept where you are now and know that you can always choose again. You didn't really lose love, it's just concealed for a little while so you may look at your life with other senses, senses that you will need further down the path. You don't walk alone, you never have. I, the Great Lover of your soul, walk beside you and when you come to know and trust in this great love, you will mourn no longer for the one you believe you have lost. You will just see that he was stumbling along his own path as well, looking for my hand just like you. Come now, let's see about this cage...

She woke up startled. What was that? For certain she didn't know but what she came to realize was that the cage she found herself to be in was self imposed! No one held the key to it but her. She could go on crying about the unfairness of her current situation and stay stuck there or she could summon up all her energies to throw herself full scale into the arms of this Great Lover of her soul and see where that would lead. As far as she could determine, these were the only two choices she had and no matter how elusive the second one seemed, it was the best bet. She knew it in her heart and it gave her the peace and strength she needed to carry on...

"And it shall be in that day," says the Lord, "that you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer call me 'My Master'"... "I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the Lord." Hosea 2:16,19-20

No need to strive for perfection, just BE

How about for today, you just BE my child. My Child, in whom I am well pleased...You are not the girl who stuggles with food or can't keep her house clean or the girl who attracted bad men or suffers from depression. That girl doesn't really exist, in fact, she is dead.

You are royalty, my beautiful daughter who has not a care in the world save to spend time with her adoring, doting Daddy, praying, singing and praising all the day long. That's right. I am your Daddy, The King, and I am strong and powerful. Any adversity in your world is but a speck of dust to me. I am completely willing and able to handle it all. The battle is mine. In fact, consider it handled, because in Truth it already is.

All you need to concern yourself with is me. Everything else is just distraction from me. Your unsaved husband, taken care of. Your rocky marriage, alive and satisfying. Your children~actually mine~under my care, protection and provision. Your health, perfect. Your mind, sound. Your heart, pure. Done. It's all done. Just spend time with me. BE with me. Trust me. Adore me as I adore you. Get to know me the way that I know you. And you'll see who you really are - beautiful, poised, joyful, positive, loving, generous, kind and so much more. You'll see yourself the way I see you. It is no wonder that I am so enthralled by your beauty.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2Corinthians 5:17

God got my attention today...

He said, "I love you like Edward loves Bella."

Change Your Focus

Don't be a Hater! Be an Appreciater!

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See if you can find 10 things to appreciate

about yourself, your life, your work and your loved ones. I dare you.

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Do this everyday and see if you don't notice a difference in your attitude.

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Why can't I succeed? What am I missing?

You are not missing anything. You simply take your eyes off the prize. You daydream, and happily I might add. Then you look at the obstacles that lay ahead (too old, too out of shape, no training, no money, or whatever) and you freeze. But you and I don't reckon things the same. What you see as giant obstructions, I see as bumps in the road. And your job is not to navigate the way but to hold fast to the vision of what you want to accomplish and stay with it no matter what. You will find that as you hold on, the obstacles that once seemed so monumental just seem to melt away right before your eyes - because that's my job, to lead you to the manifestation of that vision, to take care of the details, to get you where you want to go. Just keep your gaze locked on what you want and don't let yourself be distracted by fear, discouragement, confusion, needing to know how, or the ever popular 'what-about-them?' sydrome. It really is that simple. Go ahead, pick something. Any one thing. And give it all your focus. Test me and see...

Sometimes the Voice gives Tough Love

1. Pick yourself up little girl.

2. Now is not the time for self pity.

3. Stand and fight for the life you dream of.

4. It is waiting for you.

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